Quotations Great Phrases

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there is some person pulling a door that says "PUSH".

Todays generation is so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.

I received a letter from Screwfix thanking me for my inquiry and informing me that they are not a dating agency.

War is the continuation of politics by other means, Politics is the continuation of economics by other means -Carl von Clausewitz

I went to bed wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me.

Deja moo: The feeling that I've have heard this bullshit before.

People inspire you, or they drain you, pick them wisely. - Hans F. Hansen

My friend can only sleep on piles of old magazines. He's got back issues.

If I do a job in 30 minutes, it's because I spent 10 years learning how to do that job in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

There are some more like this at Sirius B